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Lately I got better... No more breakdowns, though I still think a lot about my friend and I'm trying not to think bout what I wish I were doing... I finally got inside the school...Brits! Guess I'm kinda happy to work someplace else and earn more money. On the other hand, I'm so tired...I feel like sleeping all the time. I'm not lazy, it's just that I've got the whole thing "planned"...my little "escape". But for it to happen it'll take some time...maybe I'll be able to do it! Maybe after a month, or two...maybe in four. Thing is will I be able to "survive" until then? I just wish I could get it over with...get on a plane and do what I want. Mom told me "Imagine if you manage to get there before December? You could spend Christmas with Kita and he wouldn't feel so alone." I really liked the idea and I'm looking forward to it. Kita told me they'll have a big feast, full of food. Italian! Julie is gonna bring food from her parents in Italy! I wanna get to know her too! Some freaky things have been going on...but I'd rather speak to Kita about it. He was supposed to all me yesterday and God knows why, he didn't! I've been having a really nice time with Anna...she is a British girl working @ the school I'm working. There is James as well, he is nice but sometimes a little bit freaky. Anyway...Anna is really nice! She is going back to London in December. I think Kita will love her just as much as I do already! She is so sweet! Anna is leaving on Monday...I feel bad about it! I mean...she is such a nice gal and I think I'm going to miss her. Why every time I meet someone nice they have to go/move/walk away? Tonight is "Karaoke" night...I'm going to a bar with Anna and James... James told me I'll have to sing...not on this life...or maybe not sober! :P I wonder where Kita is...and how he is doing! Oh and I've started reading Stardust! The book is SO cool...I love it! But I'll save it for some other time! C y'all soon! XoXoXo Andy Tags: anna
Current Location: Brits
Current Mood:  giggly
Current Music: Last Night - P. Diddy
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Jesus, sometimes I'm such a drama queen! I remember being like that when I was 15 years old or something! Get a grip dammit! I'm feeling gr8 cuz I finally got a decent job, which I'll earn enough money to pack my things and move...March never seemed so far away! Well, I just gave up on Rodrigo...I swear I'd throw an atomic bomb @ him, and I'll punch his face if I ever see him again! BUT...I've got the point where I've traced a line, and that's my job! I wanna be successful, and that's it. I've just been feeling very lonely the last few days, and It's bloody hard to find a decent person. Where have all the decent people gone? I'm so sick of the shallowness and being used now and then...but then again, it's not easy to live on your own! Like being lonely...I don't know which is worse, living alone and unhappy or being unhappy with someone... Life shouldn't be so hard...I know it's all "drama drama drama" again, but that's what I've just been thinking bout...and Kita is not helping by not replying my messages! I swear I'll jump on him once he gets here! I love that little bastard! Tags: decent, kita
Current Location: @ Work
Current Mood:  pensive
Current Music: Why do you love me? - Garbage
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It doesn't matter how hard I try, I always go back to the beginning... It's all useless...I got really drunk on saturday...I got tired of pretending everything is all right. My mother doesn't talk to me anymore. And everything I do is useless to try and cope with her! We argued...first because of money and after that because I wanted to see my family pictures! And she didn't let me! Like I'm not part of the family...even the cops showed up...I had to explain it all... All I had to say was... "After getting robbed by my family my whole life and living differently from my brother...do you think there are no reasons for me to get disturbed?" He just glanced at my crying eyes and said..."Rather complicated, eh?" Than, Saturday I drank...half vodka bottle! Andresa helped me out...I had to call someone...I felt really bad. She helped me out but had to go after 6 o'clock...I called Rodrigo and asked for help...he helped me out...but the thing is, I hate the way I feel about him...though I like him, I always try to keep my distance... All I know of love is how to lose and live without it! It's a loser's dream, someplace I never went to... I wish he'd want to take me for the time being...until I can go away from this place and live my life with Kita! I wish I could feel loved...by him. But I'm over it! It's enough...now I'm @ the point of no return... I'll just let go...tell him everything and may God help me! I'll just let go...if he wants me he'll have me...if he doesn't...I don't know! Even if it's just the sex...I'm tired of fighting back! Use me, if that's what he wants! Too bad he is not the Phantom! :P The Point Of No Return Phantom Of The Opera (Phantom) Past the point of no return - no backward glances: our games of make belive are at an end . . . Past all thought of "if" or "when" - no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend . . . What raging fireshall flood the soul? What rich desire unlocks its door? What sweet seduction lies before us . . .? Past the point of no return, the final threshold, what warm, unspoken secrets will we learn? Beyond the point of no return . . . AMINTA (CHRISTINE) You have brought me to that moment where words run dry, to that moment where speech disappears into silence, silence . . . I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why . . . In my mind, I've already imagined our bodies entwining defenceless and silent - and now I am here with you: no second thoughts, I've decided, decided . . . Past the point of no return no going back now: our passion-play has now, at last, begun . . . Past all thought of right or wrong - one final question: how long should we two wait, before we're one . . .? When will the blood begin to race the sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames, at last, consume us . . .? BOTH Past the point of no return the final threshold, the bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn . . . We've passed the point of no return . . . (By now the audience and the POLICE have realized that SIGNOR PIANGI is dead behind the curtain, and it is the PHANTOM who sings in his place. CHRISTINE knows it too. As final confirmation, the PHANTOM sings): PHANTOM Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime . . . Lead me, save me from my solitude . . . (He takes from his finger a ring and holds it out to her. Slowly she takes it and puts it on her finger.) Say you want me with you, here beside you . . . Anywhere you go let me go too, Christine that's all I ask of . . . Tags: phantom
Current Location: The Shrine
Current Mood:  lonely
Current Music: Phantom of the Opera - The Point of no Return
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Hoje foi meu primeiro dia oficialmente como desempregado... To super irritado...revoltado com o que aconteceu! Bom, tudo começou numa tediosa quinta feira onde minha chefe me chamou pra sala dela TRÊS vezes pra ouvir reclamações de alunos. Daí perguntei pra ela o que houve com as 14 horas que trabalhei e não recebi...ela veio dizer que por eu não ter preenchido a agenda de aulas, ela cancelou e que me pagaria só mês que vem! Fiquei PUTO... extremamente! Falei várias pra ela! "Minhas contas vencem esse mês...não o próximo! E dei aulas NESSE MÊS!" por fim, levantei da cadeira, fui até a porta e disse "ISSO É UM ABSURDO! RIDÍCULO! NUNCA VI ISSO EM TODA MINHA VIDA!". Dei as costas e fui pra sala dos professores...fiquei sentado, puto! Deu mais ou menos 5 minutos e ela apareceu...vermelha de raiva e disse "ACHO QUE O MÍNIMO QUE EU MERECIA ERA UMA EXPLICAÇÃO, A PARTIR DE AMANHÃ VC NÃO FAZ MAIS PARTE DO NÚCLEO DE PROFESSORES DA ESCOLA." Fiquei mais irritado ainda e quase chorando de nervoso...eu tava brigando pelo que é meu por DIREITO, e não pedindo dinheiro emprestado... Me aguentei...dei as 2 ultimas aulas e fui embora...fiquei muito chateado, falei com a ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8) lunchbox__...ela ficou super chateada! Mas...enough is enough... Não tinha mais jeito! Já passei por muita coisa naquela escola...enxi o saco já! Eu dava o sangue por ela, ficava lá o dia inteiro, ajudando com tudo! E poxa, ninguém ver isso...e ainda me mandar embora assim como se tivesse me encontrado no lixo? Ah não...não aceito MESMO! Falei com minha mãe e busquei algumas informações...não vou deixar isso barato. O Kita ficou super feliz de eu ter saído...disse "AGORA VC TÁ LIVRE!" Engraçado como ele me faz rir a todo momento... Hoje fiquei o dia todo irritado...não consigo parar de pensar no que houve. Mas não é arrependimento...é revolta! Lembrei da lunchbox__...senti muita saudade, muita mesmo! É foda vc se acostumar com a presença de alguém...mas acho que é isso que chamam amizade, né? Não tenho dúvidas de quanto ela é importante pra mim! MESMO! Hoje falei com o Vagner...ele também foi despedido...não é lindo? Até nisso a gente combina! eheheeh A noite me bateu uma angústia...nada dá certo pra mim e não consigo nada que quero...e isso tá me matando! Falei com o NETO...ele é TUDO! Me mostrou um vídeo no YouTube e logo fiquei melhor... Falei com o Diego tb...e deixei algumas coisas bem claras. Ele disse que sentia saudade...e eu disse "Que mentira!" Contei pra ele o que aconteceu na escola...bem por cima! E ele disse "Poxa...que chato! Agora vc vai ter que arranjar um new job. No que vc precisar se eu puder ajudar eu ajudo! Prometo!" Depois de um tempo de conversa, soltei o verbo... Que acho que não temos uma amizade, que to cansado de ser sempre eu a ligar... Ele alegou que tá trabalhando e tem a faculdade...lorota! Fiquei sabendo que ele tava com uma outra pessoa no fim de semana de páscoa...e taquei na cara dele! Falei "Já liguei pra vc 3 fins de semana seguidos e você tá sempre ocupado" E ele disse que já tinha algo marcado...mas que amanhã ele só vai sair bem tarde com os meninos...não consigo acreditar...claro! Logo ele disse que tava com sono, que tá tarde e que ele ía deitar...e soltou um "Te adoruuuuuuuuuuuu" E eu disse "Palavras não valem nada se não combinam com os atos" ele "..." "Quando seus atos começarem a fazer sentido com suas palavras, eu vou começar a acreditar em você" O idiota usou a arma que sempre uso! Disse "Mas infelizmente ainda tenho que estudar e trabalhar antes de qualquer coisa..." e ficou offline! UGH! Soco no estômago! Odeio quando me deixam falando sozinho...diz ele que vai me ligar quando acordar... But it´s not like I´ll stand here waiting... E não consigo parar de ouvir "Big Girls Don´t Cry" da Fergie... Não sei pq mas me faz pensar em várias coisas....a situação com o Diego, deixar todo mundo que amo aqui e ir pra um lugar totalmente diferente... De certa forma...it amazes and scares me at the same time... Sem falar o refrão... "I hope you know, I hope you know that this has nothing to do with you! It´s personal, myself and I, we´ve got some straightening out to do..."E to com preguiça de passar tudo pro InglÊs, então...I´ll leave it for some other time... E deixo a letra da musica... Big Girls Don't CryFergieComposição: Stacy Ferguson / Toby Gad la la la la
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your hometown
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
Be with myself in center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do
And I´m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry,
Don't cry,
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking, I must go alone
I must take the baby steps til I'm full grown,full grown
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending do they
And I forseek the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do
And I´m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like a little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'cause I wanna hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself in center, clarity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do
And I´m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry,
Don't cry,
Don't cry
La Da Da Da Da Da
Tags: fired
Current Location: The Shrine (AKA My Bedroom)
Current Mood:  annoyed
Current Music: Fergie - Big Girls Don´t Cry
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É verdade...AMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Dias em casa sem fazer nada...o que foi melhor...passar DIAS do lado da Cris! Amo muito tudo isso! Ouvindo música boa, assistindo filmes e falando besteira! Tem coisa melhor? A Cris jurou que ainda me transforma num gótico! Meu Deus! To com medo! Ela tá conseguindo...to aqui, são 11:30 da manhã e to acordado ouvindo HIM! Confesso que to adorando! Sábado é dia de Madame! Finalmente, né? Nem que eu esteja estripado sem ânimo, pique e ferrado...EU VOU! Tô com FLOG de novo ( http://www.fotolog.com/prince_superstar) Pergunta de hoje: Como você termina situações que não gostaria de ter começado? Ai...quero mais dias de folga com a Cris de novo! Trabalhar hoje? NÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃO...odeio essa vida presidiária! Momento Memorável: Cris e eu assistindo vídeos da Mara Maravilha...."Um beijo pra você que tá no asilo...na presidiária..." "Eu não comecei minha carreira POUSANDO nua" ADORO³! Num é a pouta mais linda que vc ja viu?  Ai e tem mais! Assisti Elephant! To APAIXONADO pelo John Robinson...que menino lindoooooooooooooooo! Alguém aí me dá de presente?    Tags: him
Current Location: The Shrine (AKA My Bedroom)
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: HIM - Killing Loneliness
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Pois é...minha família tá entrando em bankrupcy total... E parece que vamos perder a casa...to com medo! e confuso... Hoje vou ser breve...só quero postar uma música que declara bem o que ando sentindo e acontecendo...e uma parte vai em especial pro Kita! Acho que ele vai entender... My family is entering bankrupcy... And it seems like we´re about to lose the house! I´m scared and confused... I´ll be brief today, I just wanted to post a song that declares well what I´m feeling and what´s going on...and part of it goes specially to Kita! I think he´ll understand... Barbie - The Princess and the Pauper - Free SCHEDULE MAN (SPOKEN): Oh! We’re late, late, late! We have 20, maximum 22 minutes, for your royal fitting. And then it’s move, move, move to your speech at the historical society! After that we have to rush, and I mean rush, to the horticultural society for tea. Ugh... Then there's your math lessons, your geography lessons, your science lessons... ANNELIESE: All my life I've always wanted To have one day just for me Nothing to do and for once nowhere I need to be With no lessons, lords, or lunches Or to-do list in the way No one to say when to eat or read or leave or stay That would be the day ERIKA: All my life I've always wanted To have one day for myself Not waking up with a pile of work on every shelf With no hems in need of pressing And no sleeves in disarray No wedding gown with a thousand stitches to crochet And no debt to pay ERIKA (SPOKEN): Huh! Madame Carp! MADAME CARP (SPOKEN): What do you think I’m running here, a cabaret? ERIKA (SPOKEN): I would have said a debtor’s prison. MADAME CARP (SPOKEN): Keep laughing, you’ll be working for me for another 37 years. ERIKA (SPOKEN): But I already paid off more then half! MADAME CARP (SPOKEN): But there’s interest isn’t there? Your parents should have thought of that before they borrowed so much. ERIKA (SPOKEN): They did it to feed me! MADAME CARP (SPOKEN): Their mistake. ERIKA: What would it be like to be PRINCESS ANNELIESE: What would it be like to be ERIKA: Free PRINCESS ANNELIESE: Free Free to try crazy things ERIKA: Free from endless IOU's ANNELIESE: Free to fly ERIKA: Free to sing ANNELIESE: And marry whom I choose QUEEN (SPOKEN): I’m so sorry, my darling, but as you know it is vital that you marry King Dominic. It is the only way to take care of our people. ANNELIESE (SPOKEN): I know, it’s my duty. QUEEN (SPOKEN): Ah! And look another engagement gift! ANNELIESE: You would think that I'm so lucky That I have so many things I'm realizing that every present comes with strings ERIKA: Though I know I have so little My determination's strong People will gather around the world to hear my song WOMAN: Can I come along? ANNELIESE: Now I fear I'll never be ERIKA: Soon I will forever be BOTH: Free I close my eyes and feel myself fly a thousand miles away
I could take flight but would it be right
My conscience tells me stay
ANNELIESE:
I'll remain forever royal
ERIKA:
I'll repay my parent's debt
BOTH:
Duty means doing the things your heart may well regretANNELIESE: But I'll never stop believing ERIKA: She can never stop my schemes BOTH: There's more to living than gloves and gowns and threads and seams In my dreams I'll be free Tags: bankrupcy
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Free
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Alguém aí lembra daquele desenho antigo pra caramba chamado "Jem and the Holograms?" Eu tava caçando ele feito LOCO! É TUDO! Eu AMAVA...enfim...hoje finalmente achei a abertura que é LINDA, e fiz um testezinho...quem quiser, taí... "Once you´re a Jem girl you´re never the same!" "Truly outrageous, that´s a Jem girl, glamour, fashion and fame!"
The Ultimate Jem Quiz! Who are you?
You're Jem! You're the lead singer of Jem and the Holograms! You're beautiful, intelligent, and loved by all. You're always thinking of others, and love to share your talents. You also have some self identity issues, and are afraid to show people who you really are. You rely on your friends, and sometimes have relationship problems. You're a role model and an inspiration to everyone you meet.
Take this quiz!
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Join
| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Tags: jem and holograms
Current Location: The Shrine
Current Mood:  happy
Current Music: Jem - Truly Outrageous
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Então eu e o Brian discutimos de novo... Tudo começou quando o velhinho aqui começa um DR...mas coisinhas basicas! Tudo mudou...nossa amizade foi do vinho pra...AGUA DE ESGOTO! Daí eu fiquei meio desapontado quando ele simplesmente fala que não sentiu minha falta...tá, o cara tá lá na PQP, mas mesmo assim eu gosto dele! Daí ele me faz a maior pergunta idiota EVER! "Andy...you won´t kill yourself, will you?" Que tipo de pessoa humanamente pensante é capaz de fazer uma pergunta dessa? LÓGICO que pensei que ele tava tirando com a minha cara e falei "Ah, lógico! Vc acha que doeria se eu pulasse da sacada? E se eu me enforcasse?" E ele ficou HYPER puto e pra variar deu os ataques de "Eu vou sair..." Ficamos mó tempo discutindo e ele querendo saber se eu tava zoando... DUH!C´mon, get a life! Nem pelo Brad Pitt eu me mataria! Talvez pelo Johny Depp! eeheeh... Mas meu...que estúpido! Ele teve a capacidade de GRITAR comigo e ainda falar que ele gastou o "day off" dele discutindo comigo! Vê se pode! TURN OFF TOTAL!Resultado...falei pra ele que são 4 horas, quando eu deveria estar acordado as 8 e tava online por causa dele...e ele ficou offline! Me chamou de rude e disse que não sei fazer ele gostar de mim... yeah, right, like I should...Meu aluno tá dando em cima de mim e a Cris tá apoiando eu ficar com ele...meu Deus...eu sou um VACO! MAs tudo bem...pelo menos ele é bunitinho...criança, mas bunitinho... Enfim...vou deixar a musikinha que to ouvindo na minha pós briga com o Brian...como assim eu gosto daquele retarded? Eu to TÃO puto com ele! Definitivamente tenho o WORST taste in menAlguém...me apresenta alguém decent?Pra quem quer falar comigo: Msn - andybextor@hotmail.com (viu, sweet pretender? :P) ---------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- --------------------------------- So, Brian and I argued again... It all started when the old man here started a RD (Relationship Discussion)...but with basical things! Everything changed...our friendship went from wine to... SEWER WATER! And I got disappointed when he simply said that he didn´t miss me...okay, the guy is far away from me, but I like him anyway! Then he makes the worst question EVAH... "Andy...you won´t kill yourself, will you?" What kind of person humanelly thinkable would make a question like that? I thought he was moking me OF COURSE, and I said: "Yeah, sure! What would be less painful, jumping from the balcony or hanging myself?" And he got HYPER angry and started with his little hysterical attacks of "Andy, I´m gonna go!" We argued for a long time and he wanted to know if I was joking... DUH!C´mon, get a life! Not even Brad Pitt would make me commit suicide! Maybe Johny Depp...ehehehe... But man, that was so STUPID! He had the guts to SCREAM at me and tell me he spent his "day off" arguing with me! MAJOR TURN OFF!In the end? I told him it´s 4 am, when I should be awake at 8 and I was online because of him...and he went offline! Called me rude and said that I don´t know how to make him like me! Yeah, right, like I should...My student is hitting on me and Cris is supporting it! Oh my God...I´m such a bitch! But it´s okay...at least he is cute...childish, but cute... Anyway, I´ll just leave the song I´m listening after my arguing with Brian...how come I like that retarded? He is SO under my skin! I´ve definetelly got the WORST taste in men!Can anyone hook me up with someone decent?( I love Paris )Tags: brian again!
Current Location: The Sanctuary
Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: Paris Hilton - Screwed
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